by Monty Ozbidian
Well, well, well, Monagamites! It’s been quite a year hasn’t it? Mayor Dick Wiener was elected again, narrowly avoiding a tie. How ironic that would’ve been, eh? On the divorce front, I hear Darryl Drindle is splitting up with his wife of 26 years, Chantal Mussman, a stripper at “Twat and Bothered”, and former Governor of Connecticut.
Sam and Ella Toad hosted “ A Tribute to Elizabeth Taylor” Gala at Murphy’s Knitting Shop on Queasy Street last weekend, and they raised
$43.23. All proceeds will go to the Bill Hogg Memorial Statue, which is being built on the former parking lot of the Chicken Shack
on Furby Avenue. Donations can be made to: Jim, the guy in the backlane, standing beside the dead body.
In sports, Sidney Crosby made a triumphant return to the NHL along with NHLer and former Monagamite Jimmy Gredette. Jimmy started in goal for the Florida Panthers, and let in 21 goals in his first game back from having his torso removed. The Monagami Horseflies, the town’s soccer team, defeated the Swamp City Ratfaces 4-2 to win the Ontario Pathetic Soccer Championship.
Despite The Prime Minister cutting funding to the arts, the Monagami arts community shone in 2011. “The Beaver and the Rooster”, a
new play by Judith Thompson, won a Dora award for Best Rural Production, and acting Dora awards for its two stars, Captain Gash and
Fiona Reid. Film-maker/director Jim Helperin debuted his new movie, “Big Blue Baby Bums” starring Ryan Reynolds, Kathy Bates and Putsy
the Pig Boy. It’s got Oscar buzz all around it! The Monagami Symphony presented “An Evening of Mozart and Jiblets”, combining the
great composer’s masterpieces with Slim Jiblets’ greatest hits. It sold out the entire run! Word is that Jiblets is house hunting
in the Monagami area with his partner, former Monetary Fund Chairman, Dominique Strauss-Kahn.
Well, that’s all for now, dear Monagamites! Have a Happy Holiday and we’ll “talk” in the new year darlings!
Talk Of The Town